Why I Treat My Marriage Like A Career (And You Should, Too!)

Do you ever look at your relationship with your lover as you would a business transaction? Do you plan it out the way you design your career path? And most importantly, do you invest in it the way you do with your professional life? This business-based approach may not sound romantic, butresearch suggests that your work ethic might be just as important at home as it at the office.

When you go to work, you likely make an effort to arrive on time, meet deadlines, perform tasks efficiently, minimize the impact of personal stress and generally make a good impression. You pay attention to your appearance, monitor your own performance and set goals for advancement and improvement. Even after years with the same company, you likely make an effort to uphold these same standards.

But do you do the same with your lover?

As we become comfortable with a partner, it isn’t uncommon for us to fall into a pattern of predictability, laziness and even selfishness. Our lives can easily begin to revolve around convenience and practicality as our relationship ambition takes a back seat. We cancel dates nights, change plans at the last minute and allow outside sources of stress to take a toll on our intimate relationships. Many of us expend most of our energy at work and arrive home emotionally and physically drained knowing that if we did the same thing at work, we’d likely be out of a job.

I’ve been with my partner for thirteen years and he is my number one priority. We are both busy entrepreneurs and to say that we love our jobs would be an understatement. Our passion for our careers, however, pales in comparison for our passion for one another. I would drop my career in a moment’s notice if our relationship was on the line and I know he would do the same. However, when our relationship isn’t “on the line,” we have had a habit of prioritizing work over our marriage.

Up until a few months ago, we would cancel on one another at the last minute, show up late to our coffee dates, work long hours with no notice and commit to so many social and business engagements that we barely had time to sleep let alone take care of one another. One Friday night, however, I called him out and he called me out too:

“Would you ever show up to meet a client twenty minutes late?” I asked with no hope of pretending that it wasn’t a rhetorical question. “Then why would you do that to me?”

“Because I know you understand and will give me more chances,” he replied. “And don't act like you don't do the same to me.”

He was a right. It was a two-way street. We hashed it out for a while and came to the conclusion that maybe treating our marriage as we do our businesses would be a good thing. We realized that it’s not enough to say that we’d drop anything for one another, as we couldn’t wait for a crisis to start making our marriage a priority.

This marked a turning point in our relationship. The business framework became a practical point of reference for us to help guide the way we treat one another. We may still cancel on one another, postpone get-togethers and run behind once in a while, but we also sit down and talk about our relationship goals regularly. We strategize, develop plans, revisit successes and celebrate every little accomplishment as a team. It’s not as formal as it sounds, I swear! Obviously, our relationship isn’t a mere business transaction -- we also talk about our feelings, reveal our vulnerabilities and goof around like children, but the idea of embracing a relationship work ethic helps to keep us on track and stave off the instinct to take what we have for granted.
Read More By Dr. Jess:
Can You Have Bad Sex and a Great Relationship?
Male Sex Myths Debunked! (No, They Don't Think About It Every 7 Seconds)
How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex In A New Relationship?
5 Reasons Porn Can Be Good for Your Marriage

http://www.ivillage.ca/relationships/love-and-sex

Why I Treat My Marriage Like A Career (And You Should, Too!)

Why I Treat My Marriage Like A Career (And You Should, Too!) :: تعاليق

Why I Treat My Marriage Like A Career (And You Should, Too!)